As I parked the car and headed to my downtown Starbucks today for my Sunday morning coffee and tourist-watching, I saw police cars and fire apparatus parked on both sides of the street. Lights were flashing.

I noticed they were right in front of Starbucks. Lord, it looked like there might have been a Latte overdose.

As I got closer I could see boots sticking up out of a storm drain and lots of emergency personnel shouting things down into the hole. There were questions.

"GOT IT?!!"

Voices came up from down the hole.


Holy shit, I was about to witness a rescued kitten. Someone call the local news because this is a heartwarming story right here in the middle of our cute little tourist town.

The firefighter pulled himself up out of the muck of the hole and held his hand up high. The bulldozer operator who'd removed the grate stood by looking hopeful, and so did the man who looked like he had a vested interest. We all looked at the hand, held out for everyone to see and caught sight of shiny metal.

Yup. They'd rescued the Ferrari-driver's keys.

What a piece of work. I hope the city sends him a bill.


  1. you've got to be kidding me. piece of shit indeed.

  2. Opposite story: in DC one night, I was at dinner at 1789, a local restaurant near Georgetown University. Coming outside, I saw a nearby townhouse on fire, and fire trucks pulling up. Fires in Georgetown are serious business, because all the buildings are connected, so the danger of spread is severe. Some asshat had parked his brand new Mercedes, still with temp tags, next to the fire hydrant. The firemen took noticable pleasure in shattering out the driver's side and passenger's windows and threading their dripping, dirty hoses through them to connect them to the hydrant. The spectators cheered.